That BirdGirl
by AbbiWasHere
Summary: What started off as the funniest day of their lives, ended terribly. Captured once again, the flock meet a new bird girl named Misty. But Misty isn't who she seems to be and she will stop at nothing to take Max's place, FAX, gosh, I suck at summaries XD
1. Eyebrows

A/N: Hola! It's Abbi and this is truly my first fanfiction….I tried one before but I kinda forgot about it, so…wish me luck!

When the first thing you here in the morning is, "BOOM!" it's safe to make crazy assumptions.

Such as, "Eraser attack! It's ninja-Fang time!"

But this time it was Iggy.

He'd burned off his eyebrows…again.

So when Max came bounding into my room, all out of breath, screaming, "Do you know what he did _this_ time?" I kinda figured it out.

I chuckled; it's just like Max to freak out over an Iggy catastrophe. I guess it's a girl thing. After Max left to go kick Iggy's ass, I pulled on the usual clothes (black on black- it's the new black) and hurried down to the kitchen. Everyone was trying their best not to laugh at how ridiculous Iggy looked without any facial hair.

"OMG, Iggy, you look, like, so stup- stylish!" Nudge gabbed, shoveling a forkful of tater tots into her mouth.

Iggy smiled, "You know, I think I could probably start some kind of trend!" he fingered the red burn-marks above his eyes, serious.

Gazzy gave Iggy a thumbs-up, even if he couldn't see it, "Yeah, man! The ladies would be all over you!"

I glanced at Angel, who was eating five slices of bacon held together with syrup between each layer.

Yum.

Angel slid from her chair and whispered something to Iggy, who smiled mischievously _just_ as Max walked in.

Boy, she looked _pissed__**.**_

"Oh, my freaking god, Iggy!" she yelled, only she didn't say "freaking".

"I swear to god, when I'm through with you, you're gonna wish you blew _me_ up along with that hole in the wall!"

"Hole in the wall!" I exclaimed, breaking my silent streak. No one had told me about a _hole in the wall!_

Max nodded furiously, "Yup!" she pointed to the living room, where for the first time that morning I noticed the huge gaping hole revealing the large garden outside.

"Oh my god! Iggy!"

Iggy shrugged, "What? I had only intended on creating a fire pit for roasting marsh mellows!"

I shook my head, "Shouldn't you have stuck the bomb on the ground, not the _wall!_"

Iggy bit his lip, "You know, that probably would have been a good idea."

Angel burst out laughing, she must have been holding it in the whole time, "Ahahaha! Iggy, not only do you look like a retard, you _are_ one, too!"

Iggy got up from his seat, looking all fake hurt, "Hey!" he said, sticking out his bottom lip, "That was way to far, even for you, Angel! You hurt my feelings!" he wiped away fake tears.

Then, surprisingly, Max started giggling.

Confused, Iggy "looked" up at her, "What?"

Max fell on the floor, holding her stomach, "Omigod, Iggy you are so stupid!" she tried screaming this in an angry voice, but failed.

Angel gave Iggy a pointed look. At first, Iggy looked confused, raising the skin where his eyebrow _should_ have been. Then, realization dawned over him and he smiled again.

"Hey Nudge," he purred in a voice much like that of Edward Cullen's. He draped an arm around Nudge's shoulder and turned his head to her dramatically, "How would you like to be the only bird-kid dating a guy with no eyebrows?"

Nudge started screaming in a fit of giggles, "OMG, Iggy, get a life!" she fell on the floor next to the still-writhing Max.

This time, Iggy looked genuinely confused.

I couldn't help it, I started to laugh myself. I put my hand on Gazzy's shoulder to keep from falling. I don't know why, but something about Iggy with no eyebrows just broke me.

Gazzy shrugged at no one and decided to join in on the fun, falling from under my grip and clutching his belly.

Iggy stood there; probably doing his best not to laugh along with us and grabbed our plates off the table, "_Well__**, **_then! I guess all your bacon IS MINE!"

He dove for the last plate, mine, just before I had time to save my delicious, juicy bacon and held up the plates in triumph.

"Who's laughing now, huh?"

Basically everyone, still.

Annoyed, Iggy stalked off to his room. Along with his funny eyebrows…

And our beloved bacon.

Sometimes I hate that kid.

Okay, let me explain a bit. My name is Fang (but you probably already know that because of my awesomeness). I live with my kinda-sorta family of six: Max, the eldest; she's the hottest bird-kid-leader there is, Iggy; he's a little younger than me and a but of a pyromaniac, Nudge; the only person I know who can talk non-stop all the way from California to Virginia (believe me, _I_ know this personally!), and Gazzy and Angel; the only _truly_ related people in our family. They both have special powers. Angel, for some reason, has the ability to read minds, which makes living with her seriously uncomfortable, but at least we never have to give her _the talk_. Gazzy can mimic voices perfectly. Kind of like a parrot. A really annoying parrot who never goes away.

Oh yeah, and we can _fly._

Probably should have mention that first.

A little while ago we escaped from this terrible place called the school. Then Jeb, the only person who could empathize with us, kidnapped us and took us here, somewhere in the mountains in a very square-ish state that I'm not telling you. He kept us safe until a couple years ago, when he disappeared.

Everyone else think he died.

Personally, I think he found a sexy bikini model and moved to Las Vegas.

_Personally_, okay? No one else believes me, but you never know!

Anyway, we've been living in this house for a while now, but lately, the eraser attacks have become more and more frequent. The erasers were the only other successful "experiments" at the school, other than us. They are part wolf and part human and they die _way_ too young if you ask me. I mean, who would wanna die a seven year-old? And a _virgin_! Does anyone?

I didn't think so.

The school uses the erasers as their little pawns. Apparently, they're too chickened to come out and fight us ourselves, so they send the erasers in.

But of course, it's so easy to kick an eraser's butt that they have to send in hundreds.

Doesn't matter to me, it just means I don't have to go to the gym.

But there was something we didn't know that was going to happen. And on that day of all days, when we were at our happiest, the erasers attacked.

Whoever god is, or whether I'm just some character in a story (that's silly, right?), would whoever you are please keep the maximum "BOOMS!" I have to hear every day to a zero?

Should I even bother asking?

So the second time I heard a "BOOM" that day, it wasn't anything half as funny as burned-off eyebrows.

Ten erasers blasted into the kitchen with extreme force, landing perfectly at all the exits.

I'd give them a nine, they lacked pizzazz.

We all shot up, feeling badass when we cracked our knuckles simultaneously.

"_Ten_ of you? Really? Is that the best those douche-bags can do?" Max scoffed, "I won't even chip a nail!" she delivered a fast kick to the one standing behind her, hitting him where it hurts the most. He screamed (a lot like a little girl, I must say) and collapsed.

Max shrugged, smirking, "What? I didn't like him checking me out!"

But then something seriously funny turned into something just serious.

The roof disappeared.

I'm not kidding.

It _disappeared._

What a "holy shit!" moment, right?


	2. Mr Brit

**A/N Hey guys! Finally got this chapter up. Jesus I'm lazy.**

**If you guys have anything funny (I don't care what it's about- bacon, erasers, wings, funny sex jokes, funny blond jokes, rabid squirrels, rabid squirrels attacking sparkly vampires- whatever) please post it, I love funny stuff and I love putting funny stuff into my stories!**

**Thanks and….**

**Disclaimer: Gosh I **_**wish **_**I owned MR (and Iggy, for that matter)**

I kid you not! The mother-freaking roof just went POOF!

Oh look, I made a poem!

I shall call it, Fang's poem of epicness!

But let's get back to the roof disappearing. After the roof was yanked off of the house, millions (once again, I'm not even joking) of erasers jumped in, ninja style. About twenty of them ganged up on each of us separately. I kicked my first ten eraser's asses pretty good, but then more kept on coming, flooding the kitchen (in fact, most of them were crowd surfing).

I turned to where Max had been standing, but I couldn't see an inch past me. I felt something pound in my gut and I could feel blood dribbling down my chin.

I hope the others were doing better than I was because these erasers had to be on steroids or something. They could really pack a punch!

I don't know how long we were fighting. Could have been just a minute, maybe it was days, but the whole time was agony. The first erasers were just bait, old erasers they didn't need anymore. The ones who were clobbering us now must have been on super steroids or something because- damn these guys were strong!

Maybe they sparkle in the sunlight…

…...

First thing I thought when I woke up: am I in heaven?

Because, although it was dark, I immediately noticed that Max's head was in my lap. Not in _that_ kind of way, but you know…it was still there.

But then again, Nudge's foot was in my face, Gazzy's arm was basically wrapped around my neck, and I had a feeling it was Angel's legs I was crushing beneath my back.

Yeah, that's the first thing I noticed. Just goes to show how much testosterone can be found in the male body these days.

And then all of a sudden (you're going to learn to hate it when I say "all of a sudden"), a bright light flashed on, basically blinding me for the rest of my life.

Which reminds me of Iggy. I really hope they didn't realize he wasn't with us when they attacked us.

I mean, what other winged pyromaniac is supposed to save our asses from this place? Exactly.

When my eyes finally adjusted I found a most horrifying sight.

It was not Max's head in my lap, but Gazzy's.

And it was not Angel's legs I was crushing, but Max's.

And she wasn't too happy about this arrangement.

Well, to be honest, neither was I.

Max struggled to get up when the room we were in lurched to the right and we tumbled into the wall.

Talk about OW! I mean, I was already bruised enough, being totally massacred by those EODs (erasers of doom).

A holographic screen blipped to life across from us. On it was an old man with kind, but stern eyes, "Sorry 'bout that," he smiled. I think he was a brit, only brits have an accent _that_ cool, "Sorry 'bout that," he repeated, clearing his throat, "This plane is kind of cheap."

We were on a plane? This whole time?

The room lurched again and I was overcome with a nauseating feeling down in the pit of my stomach.

Yes, we were _definitely_ on a plane.

"I'll be sure to pay the pilot better next time," he chuckled, as if it were actually funny or something, "Oh, and sorry we had to send in generation C, we didn't know it would be that...easy," his eyes ran over our bloody, bruised bodies, when suddenly, confusion flooded his face, "I thought there were six of you."

We all looked around, and he was correct! Iggy was missing! He must be safe back at home!

Good. The first thing he does after rescuing us is blow up this plane. I really don't like it.

Seriously? Where are all those false-smiling flight attendants and, "Where is my shrimp cocktail?"

I can't believe I actually said that out loud.

Yeah, I said it _out loud_!

I am the biggest retard in the history of retards!

The brit looked even more confused now, "Shrimp cocktail…?"

Max smiled, covering for me, "Sorry, he hasn't taken his meds today. But that's not important- who the crap are you?"

Obviously, this guy must have assumed we were well-mannered or something because he looked pretty surprised when Max said that, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me- who the crap are you?"

Mr. Brit didn't look so happy now, "That's not for you to know!"

The hologram disappeared and the lights flickered out.

Wake me up when Iggy's blown the place up, please.


End file.
